Beware the easy little slutty little poem

who opens up quick & wants to be enjoyed
they said, you can’t trust the easy 
little slutty little poem
sure it makes you laugh
forget your troubles but
if yer not careful
it’ll suck you in
to its sticky void
that dirty little
slutty little 
poem

 


My therapist says the phrase small p 

psychosis & I hug its diminutive size 
near normal or next to
small enough to fit inside my house
small enough to rarely show
few moments of giant shoes & giant hands
seen bursting through windows
kept under the hat, so to speak 

 


Still high

always & forever
on permanent astral layaway
sky fam tugging my sleeve
remember us
or else
humans w/o context
tend to break apart
upon expansion
I am one of these


 To overcome an overwhelming feeling

an overwhelming feeling of being overcome

the coming on of overwhelming feeling

the dissolution of self into overwhelming feeling

an overwhelming feeling of dissolution of self


Having one’s shit together 

means not being dispersed 
means not being dissolved

how to dissolve the self &
return to work on Monday

how to refuse the transition 
how to slide between modes

work to buy the pants
to express the self
recoup the losses of the week
drugs & forests stimulate a little ego death
return & feel thyself

I’m thinking about how not to be a piece of shit
a single turd, when we are all one massive cow splat 
laid on the wide open field

 


I keep writing the same poem

but conditions haven’t changed
so why would the poem?
I’ll keep writing the same poem
until conditions change  


Lindsey Boldt is the author of Weirding (Dogpark Collective), Overboard (Publication Studio), and the chapbooks Some Ennui (Portable Press @ Yoyo Labs) and  <(( ))> (Couch Press). She is currently the editorial director of Nightboat Books and lives in Olympia, Washington on Squaxin & Nisqually land.