a first meditation to be spoken out loud one to another
I’d like you to close your eyes or at least lower your eyelids focusing on the middle distance of the floor in front you
I want you to get comfortable in your seat or if you’re standing stand with your legs slightly wider than shoulder width apart
your feet firmly planted on the ground
and as you stand or sit you can begin to feel a string that starts at your seat or the soles of your feet and runs from your tailbone up your spine and out of your head up to the ceiling above
and as we begin I want you to remember that all you are doing is preparing yourself for the journey ahead
and that you’re safe here and no one can hurt you
all your doing is preparing for the journey ahead and that you’re safe in the company of my voice
I want you to remember that violence is just information
or ‘decorative’
like a video of lions and hyenas fighting over the carcass of a wildebeest or antelope or some kind of dead animal captured with night vision cameras playing silently in the background and projected on the wall
or if that proves too distracting and takes away from your focusing on something other than the video
then you can visualize a still image projected on a sheet that hangs in front of the wall flickering quietly from the slight breeze caused by the air conditioning of the room
say a screencapped Google image of the sun reflecting off of standing water taken from the front steps of what was once the Branch Davidian compound a few miles outside of Waco
and I want you to hold this image of the sun in your mind
and as you do I want you to notice that it doesn’t glitch as much as move unsteadily in unison with the curtain and in doing so becomes like not unlike nature in that both are only immersive backdrops or ‘non-mediums’
like the human voice
or ‘my voice’
speaking out loud to you now under the pressure of reenacting it by describing it or rather staging it like a series of side altars of a ‘new age’ cult painted in earth tones seen for the last time before ascension
this bound method of procedure
my speaking to you now
produces an image like the reflection of the sun
or more accurately
a space for your thoughts to inhabit as something to focus on
but only in the beginning
as my voice will prove more and more unnecessary as it begins to disintegrate into discrete regions of your mind which you can visit for a time or not and leave as you will
and as I’m speaking to you
you’ll begin to feel grounded like you’re resting comfortably on an empty platform
one that had been specifically prepared for you
but prepared poorly
or rather the platform itself is only barely visible like the first plateau in an unexplored region of a video game that as you reach the clearing it begins to rain slightly and a fine mist covers the air
now as the water becomes general and covers this wretched little thing we call our body
your vessel or vehicle
the pain it experiences or even its pleasures
your twitching and convulsions
the spasms that involuntarily begin in the head
clouding your thoughts and bringing them too much into focus as the pain radiates out to your limbs
only now
as you sit on this bare expanse and the water begins to cover you
is that pain and frustration
that sadness you first felt alone on this plateau that stretches out to the horizon
only now are feelings starting to be washed away
and as they leave you
and your mind is becoming empty and relaxed
you can start to feel each individual drop of water as it slowly trickles down your skin
joining the other drops as they fall together to the plateau beneath you and form small rivulets that head to the left of you
or the right
or pool around you creating a greater intensity of wetness against your buttocks and thighs
in each drop
as it joins its mate and forms this community
this pool of cool and pleasant water that washes away the pain and fear that you live with each day
you can begin to sense the presence of those who have gone on before you as if in moving on and shedding their vessels they left behind this message written in water that caresses your skin and soaks your clothing such that you can no longer tell the difference between the rough cloth and the flesh it covers
you can sense in this water the poisons they purged from themselves in moving on
you can feel the anxieties they are no longer burden with in giving up their bodies for a wholeness that is not unlike the wholeness you at times feel when your own body disappears in a moment of great joy or despair
and you are growing more and more aware of them as you listen to my voice and the wind begins to pick up and the rain falls harder as water lashes against this wretched little thing we call our body
until you can feel the skin of your right forearm resting against your thigh
begin to open and form a small canyon that faces the sky and the falling rain
but instead of feeling pain there you have a sense of deep calm as your blood and tendons
the muscles in your right arm open up to the bone and greet the water as it falls against your body and collects in the space it made for itself
and as it does
as your blood flows from the open cut
spreading across this wretched little thing we call our body
you can see it turn to a faint purple color
that grows paler and paler
until any distinction between the blood that came from your vessel and the water that fell from the sky as rain disappears
and as your blood ranges across the growing pool of water you sense it mingling with the presence of those who have gone on before you
alone on this plateau you can sense their presence and are assured with the fullness of their company as the water rises up your thighs covering you to your belly button
and as the water continues to rise it covers this plateau like an infinity pool stretching out to the light grey sky turning blue
without a decrease in the rain
that no longer falls but seems to swell of its own accord
moving and caressing your body as this pool of water reaches your chest and neck as though the clothes you once wore have been stripped away as they are no longer necessary
and as the water covers this wretched little thing we call our bodies
instead of feeling buoyant you feel grounded
instead of rising to the surface you stay firmly seated on the plateau
that you can no longer see
but use as an anchor in your mind or something that hovers just below the surface of your thoughts rooting you to this world and the vehicle of your body
now the water is over your head and reaching up to the same colored sky
both a light blue and turning slightly as if in a clean glass bowl on an empty wooden table that mirrors the movement of the larger room around it
feeling your body now as it sits beneath the surface of this cool clear liquid
you open your mouth to speak or breathe
to call out to the presence of those who have gone on before you
you try to take a breath you can’t
you try to take a breath you can’t
you try to take a breath you can’t
don’t be afraid
remember that this is the time you have prepared for and that you are ready
remember your plans
you try to take a breath you can’t
until your trying stops and you step out of this earthly vessel like stepping through a door into another room
only then can you rise up to the surface
only to find that your body has gone and your soul has become infinitely small
floating like a microbead of plastic riding the undulating surface of the water under a cloudless and crystal clear blue sky
now as you start to return to the room
I want you to hold in your mind this image of microbeads floating together as a buoyant plastic fog spread across the water
‘proof’ of something you knew all along
what you sensed all along
that you are perfect
and this journey you have prepared
to step away from this plateau into the surrounding waters
requires no faith or leader
no father or mother
no system beyond the lives we are already living
this material action and our bright faces and warm smiles as we greet each other in the morning or say goodnight before bed
such that the very fact of our existence extends out towards our own extinction
like a pod of dolphins arching their backs and moving their flukes vertically up and down to generate momentum in the neon blue water and propel themselves forward and out of the waves and back again framed with purple flames as the chants of those who came before now singing with one voice can be heard in the background