bed poem

theres nothing 2 b done
abt my longstanding rivalry
w/ death
i saw my enormous heart
reflected
& had 2 take a seat
shoes off, fulminating
on this particular day
the clouds shaped 
like bullies
past, present, & future
copy paste defiled me
picture in my hand
crinkled into recollection


bed poem

a clear conscience
is for those 
who aren't ready
to admit things
the pulse of regret
uniting us
in a rage 
pleasant enough
to will more living
i am here 
for round 2
sword eating itself
i’ll forgive
all except
my most mortal enemies:
time
the state
& the end


bed poem

i never think
abt it
except
waking, moving, naked, clothed
completely alone
known by what it’s not
deleted from awareness
daydreams of being pulled
from extinction
if u cld feel every terror
& possible care
comfort afforded
sustenance, compassion
an open window
w/ no rules
yrs, too
flayed in full
the good lives 
we r promised
by bodies that never 
betray us
don’t arrive
but i'm here 
regardless
big hull
lofty eyes 
spit


bed poem

in relentless officiation
i feel my stomach growl
parallel darkness
u me, him, that other guy
united together
under a banner
that says “Don’t”
& so life passes
a tipped glass of milk
“don’t worry about the conclusion,”
i say
half-asleep
w/ mouth full
it’s a series of steps
agony, windchimes, hard pear
ive misplaced my apology
but if u wait here for a moment
when the light hits u just right
u will forget


bed poem

against my will
at the embattled slop trough
of desire
my sanity
shrivels back toward the ocean
few things of which 
we can be certain
but know this:
what i can give u
is nothing,
not allowed


Cassandra Gillig wrote these poems while in bed with various ailments.